Sorry for this.....just need to get it out there...

If you have an elderly relative, you might understand our stress.

Garys Mum lives alone, is 80 years old. She has never really been a positive person in all the time I have known Gary.

In the past few months she has had several falls, plus other health issues. She has been in and out of Hospital, and despite numerous tests they find nothing really wrong. She is getting more forgetful every day. She will swear black is white, is rude, arguementative.

I get numerous calls at work from her telling me she cant cope any more, wants to die, is in pain etc

She is always calling the doctor out. Luckily in one of her more lucid moments we got her to sign a letter to the surgery saying we can speak to the doctor n her behalf. So we can find out what is going on.

Currently she is in respite care, but she hates it, despite telling us all she couldnt cope at home,

She has us running around getting things for her, its unfortunate that due to family circumstances we are the only ones to be able to help. We both workfull time, and Gary is on shift work too.

She has had a care package in place for the last fewmonths, which means she has 4 carers a day going in, but because she cant or wont eat, they do nothing more than make the bed, open/close the curtains, make her a drink, she wont let them give her any personal care. One of her friends in the block who is also not a well person is the one she expects to make drinks for her, clean up after her, shop for her, and she won't say no to her. We try and do as much as we can, but MIL thinks everyone should run around after her.

Its really starting to get to me, as Im in a new job, and she is constantly ringing me, she is rude, shouts at us, wont listen, doesnt listen, expects us to be at her beck and call 24/7. I know that Gary is also struggling, so I try and do the things he shouldnt have to do, but its starting to cause problems for us at times.

Im not really sure how much more we can take, getting towards breaking point.

Thanks for listening

Elaine xx

 

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