My story

Hi Bloggers

I was watching an episode of Jeremy Kyle recently, it was about a young woman who's father had abandoned her, brother and mother at about 4 years old. He had gone on to have more kids with various women, just loving and leaving them, all she wanted was to make him aware of how she felt, and what he had done. She called him by his christian name, as she felt he wasnt her father. He didnt get it at all.

It got me thinking about my own family, my mother who couldnt understand why i was upset with her.

But watching this program, i realised that i can now let go of the past, because nothing would change and all it does is make me upset.

So from now, im moving onwards and upwards.

 

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What goes on in the Background

 

Morning Guys I just wanted say, lots going on in my little world at the moment, certainly not good either Gary is currently being treated for an Abdominal Aortic Anurism, and should be having a serious operation to remove it shortly. In fact next week he is having tests and a CT scan to provide the surgeon with all the information needed. In the meantime he has had a medical at work, and they found his blood pressure was raised and told him to make an appointment with his doctor. Unfortunately like a lot of men, he just forgot about it for a while, when he eventually remembered to tell me, i made the appointment straight away. Indeed his BP is very high, the doctor put him straight onto medication, this could delay his operation if it doesnt come down. In the meantime i am trying to hold it together, he doesnt seem to be worried, but basically he has very high BP, high cholesterol (which seems to have stabilised with medication), and the aneurism (which is hereditary as his dad died of one). Any of which could kill him, all are like silent killers, so im really pleased that we know about them,........but im so scared. So if i dont post on FB or here for a while, its just im stressed. Please remember, you never know what is going on in other peoples lives sometimes

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34 nights and counting...

 

I know i often say this....but time is going by so quickly...almost at the end of November, Christmas is scooting along towards us.

I have written most of my Christmas Cards now, and have even bought and wrapped some pressies, still got a few to go though. hope to do a little more shopping tomorrow in town.

We had a quick cheeky weekend away, firstly a Spa Day, staying overnight at a Travel Lodge, a drive by Stonehenge for a few photos, then a very long drive to Kent, not helped by various road closures, but we got there in the end.
The caravan was a little on the tired side, but it was only a base for our days out.

Today after tidying the house, having an hour sorting out some of my craft room, im going to get my hair cut and coloured, which i desperately need after the recent shingles scare.

 

A couple of photos from our holiday

 

 

The White and Blake family Christmas Meal taken by Nova.

 

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Good Morning

 

i have had a brilliant few days, last weekend it was my Birthday, also the anniversary of my Dads death, taken from me far to soon. Gary and Nova spoilt me rotten, we all went to Paignton and Torquay area for the day. Then home for a birthday tea, complete with Cheese and Pineapple on sticks, jelly and birthday cake. Gary bought me a beautiful necklace, (will take a photo soon), and a Bubble Machine - hours of fun ! Nova bought me a lovely set of Expresso cups and saucers. Shortly we are all going for a Spa Day followed by a few days in Kent. I will be visiting my Dads resting place, as well as meeting up with family and friends. Showing Nova around my home town (she's really looking forward to that !). We are also helping her with some 'fieldwork' on the coast. We are all looking forward to this break. Elaine xx

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Why oh why

 

do people send emails, when what they should really do is pick up a phone and talk ?
Life could be so much easier if people would think before pressing the button to send a message, ask yourself, what will the receiver think? The tone of the email, the message you are trying to get across etc.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of an email that has upset you? How did you deal with it?

I have had a very sleepless night, worrying about the message, also thinking am I over reacting (probably).

 

The photo above is of my parents wedding Dec 24 1961. Which always makes me smile. I was born the following November 1st, so its my birthday at the end of the week, but also the anniversary of my Dads untimely passing, so I guess thats not helping with my mood.

So my daily Happiness Is ......score out of 10 has dropped from being a 7 or 8 down to a 5, so what am I going to do to improve this ? What would Lara suggest? Think of the positives of the day....to be honest there wasnt a lot, but I did manage to re organise my diary and that made me smile, so thats my happy point of Monday.

Lets hope Tuesday will be much better.....

 

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Fabulous Holiday

 

Just had 5 fabulous days away at Hayle, near St Ives in Cornwall.

The weather wasnt too bad, despite a couple of very windy days. Had trips to St Ives, Sennen, Lands End, Cyder farm, Bedruthan Steps, Cape Cornwall and even managed time for a spa too.

Picture above is at Lands End.

The caravan we stayed in was lovely, clean and tidy.

Me and Nova having a quick break during our walk.

We found this mushroom quite by accident on the walk from Sennen to Lands End.

St Ives in the wind and sunshine.

It was very windy at times, glad the caravan was chained down ! Even just walking along the beach was challenging at times.

Oh well, only another three weeks before we are off again, Spa Day and a few days in Kent....... Just time to get the washing done, clean the car inside and out, and repacked. Lol.

Live, Love and Laugh

Elaine xx

 

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Positivity Moment

I try not to overthink things, but...... Recently things have come to light, which i dont agree with or like. So tough decisions have to be made. Im fed up with the negativity surrounding me, I am what i am. I am very loyal to my friends / family, but if you dont like that, then its your problem not mine. As for social networking, i am reducing my time on FB and the like, because it seems to be the cause of a lot of problems. I get upset when people defriend me, taking it very personally, when in fact, i should just think, that i am better off without these people. I am going to surround myself with as much positivity as possible in future.

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Exercise

After a great session at Marjon Gym last night with Nova and our 'Punisher' Coach - Chris, i got to thinking which areas do i want to tone the most ? Which are most important to me? Legs, Arms, Abs, Back ? All of them ? How much time can I devote to working on it at home? How many hours at the gym? So many questions, No real answers, as I am a busy person with lots of things to do, but then both Nova and Chris are extremely busy people and still manage to exercise daily. As I age Im finding more parts of me ache more of the time, does this mean i need to exercise more or less ? Lots of reasons to exercise, lots of excuses not to ! I have so many lists of things to, exercise, working from home, shopping, tidying, decluttering, housework....etc etc and we are three months to Christmas which adds extra pressures, plus with Garys shifts, making it, not difficult just a bit awkward at times. So lets get organised woman, how to do this ! A book? A big calendar/ Diary ? This needs a little thought as to how i can make this work.

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Good Morning Everyone

Happy October all, pinch, punch.....etc Where did the Summer go? I dont know about you, but i dislike the change in seasons. Im a real sunshine girl, so i guess you could say i have the 'sad' disorder. I am feeling a little down and fed up, so i need to pick myself up and look forward. Firstly to a short break in Hayle near St Ives, middle of October, a few days by the beach should cheer me up, even if it rains. Then a Spa Day and a few days in Kent in November, Im really looking forward to 'going home' for a while. Birthday too, plus then Christmas, which is shaping up to be a fabulous time as well. I have bought a Healrh and Wellbeung book, where you record all your thoughts, what you do, why you do it and what can be changed to make life easier, healthier and nicer. In the meantime i have made a couple of decisions, firstly to stop weightwatchers, not because im at goal, but i have got to a stage where my head is not really in it, and im paying to stay the same weight. I have also looked at Juicing and am trying that to see if that makes me feel better, healthier and happier. So far its going really well, even Gary likes the juices/ smoothies i have made. Thats all for now, take care, Elaine xx

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Bude Holiday

We have just spent a long weekend away in Bude, Cornwall

Gary, Nova and I in a Caravan.

A lot of fun and laughter was had. We exercised, walked and ran daily.

The weather was fabulous considering it was mid/late September.

 

Awaiting lunch by the sea,

 

Nova in the sunshine.

 

Gary in the sunshine too...

The girlies...

 

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Positive Monday

Good Morning World Had a fabulous, if a little quiet weekend, Gary was away on a golf weekend with the boys, so seeing as it was sunny, I had a couple of days peace and quiet, sat out in the sunshine reading my books. My neighbours must have stayed indoors, because I had no kids using a trampoline and shouting at the top of their voices at bottom of the garden.... My friend Anne popped in for a chat, which was lovely, as we hadn't met for quite a while. We certainly put the world to rights. Sunday I watched some sport, including the Great North Run and the F1, but still managed a little bit of reading and relaxing and sunbathing in the garden. After a bit of a stressful week last week, it was very nice. Bring on this week, Im going to keep my head down, try not get involved in any conversations that might cause offence. I am going to concentrate on my diet and exercise this week and kick start Operation Christmas Frock.

Here we are....

Hello friends Thought it had been a while and i had better put pen to paper so to speak. Despite all the positivity of a month or so ago, things have happened and from being a 8/10 most days i now feel that has gone down to a 5-6 out of ten. Why ? Im not really sure to be honest, but i do feel i need to get a grip and sort my life out. I am due to see my therapist this week, who will help me find out what the problem is/are. One little blip - weight is starting to creep back on, so thats a situation i need to sort out quickly. I want to be wearing a size 12 dress for Christmas, so........operation Christmas Frock starts here and now. I am planning a Diet and Exercise regime, starting with 5 days out of 7 exercising, which will include running, gym work, and home exercising. Two rest days per week. The diet is not always easy due to our working patterns, but i must try my very best. I went to Weightwatchers meeting yesterday and someone mentioned the obvious of planning the following days meals, i used to do it, but got out of the habit. So planning is the key. Somethings i cant do anything about, but will just have to put up with until the time is right to do something about them. On a lighter note, we have a short break to look forward to in Bude, Cornwall, so fun. Cant wait., fresh air, running on the beach, and relaxation

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Long time no post

New job, has been taking a lot of my time recently, but then I have also been doing things for me. I am still working from home half of the day, and the other half is working in a local warehouse. It makes an interesting work life balance. I love working from home. I have now started my life as a Blood Donor, it wasn't as bad as I remembered, in and out within the hour. No bruises or fainting either. Im still waiting on my call from Cruise Bereavement but then I know that they are really busy with people, so I just have to wait my turn. Have been keeping up with my gym sessions, hard work but fun. Its been a tough year, with very little breaks, so have managed to book a few weekends away, Sept - Bude, October - St Ives, November - Kent, and then December will be Christmas. I cant wait. Gary is away this coming weekend on a boys Golfing trip, so will be home alone. In the meantime I am working on my craft room, reducing items I haven't used, selling, ebaying and recycling. We hope to change the room into more of a spare bedroom again, as someone might need a spare bed sometime in the future. I am still working with my Therapist on my demons, this is coming along well now, gradually getting rid of them. I think that's all my news for now. Love Elaine xx

Just a quick update

Well its been a strange old week, what with one thing and another, firstly the good news is that after seeing an interview on tv and a celebrity saying he was trying to encourage people to sign up to give blood/platelets or bone marrow, as his mother is newly diagnosed with luekemia. .....,. This really pricked my conscience as i used to give blood. So i have signed up to be a blood donor. My new job is going really well, which after the stress and anxiety of my old job, is great. I have also made the first move to contact Cruise bereavement counselling, to help with my issues concerning the death of my dad. So most of my life is very positive. I would say 90 percent, so thats really good, just need to work on the last 10 percent.

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Up and Down week....

Do you ever have one of those weeks..... It was my turn this week... Up days, great session at gym with Chris, he motivated me to go for a run on my own the following morning, which i did, was sooooo excited afterwards. Cant wait to do it again. Have been aching a bit after the gym session. I have had a few issues with my eyesight recently inc a flickering eye, doctor said not to worry, but it was bothering me big time. Yesterday i had an eyetest....good news is the flickering is probably blocked tear ducts causing dry eyes and i have some drops to help with that. Bad news ...is that i have cataracts in both eyes, what... Im not old enough am I. ? Yes she said its unusual at your age but not impossible. Great where does that leave me ? New glasses better suited to my condition and sight, its made worse by sunlight and headlights, so wear sunglasses whilst out, and i have that special anti glare coating on both pairs, try and avoid night time driving if its uncomfortable and basically wait and see how quickly it progresses. I was having an email conversation with Nova, telling her i was upset and scared, but what did i get back from her, not sympathy, but and totally fun reply which put it all into perspective.....thank you Dr N..... Xx

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Happy Days...

After my last post when i was feeling a bit sad, i decided to get back on track and look on the bright side of life. The sun is shining, work is going well, and i feel fit and healthy. Tonight i am having a session with Chris Menlove Platt in the gym, where he will be putting me through my paces, we call him The Punisher, and he does exactly that. I feel great afterwards though, maybe not a couple of days later when the aches kick in. Have booked another short break for September, going to Bude in Cornwall, just need to book one for November now, hope to have a weekend in Kent, to show Nova where i come from, and its not as bad as it looks. Looking forward to our breaks Live, love and laugh Elaine xx

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Emmerdale, my personal story....

I am struggling watching Emmerdale and the current story line with young mum Donna dying of cancer. Wanting to make her small daughters life easier by not telling her she won't be with her for much longer. This is a bit to close to home for me. I know i was a little older, but not much, no-one prepared me for losing my dad, In those days, i dont think they thought about the effect on the kids. We were passed to neighbours to look after whilst the family grieved together. There was no one to talk to, no counselling like there would be nowadays. We didnt go to the funeral, so i have always felt there was no closure for me. I really wish that someone had sat my brother and i down and explained what was going to happen, my Dad was ill for 18 months, so they did have time. I really hope that the writers of Emmerdale decide that the storyline should include telling the child a little of what is going on, but i dont think i will be watching. I still struggle a lot with my feelings over this, and a lovely lady called Liza, has suggested i see a bereavement counsellor after all these years

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Another Productive Day

I went to Bristol for a meeting today, 100 miles or so up the M5, but well worth it, training and sorting out of the computer system, hopefully it will work back here and i will be able to decipher all of my handwritten notes. New printer arriving tomorrow. I cannot believe how friendly the team is, it does help that we have all worked together before, but getting away from the corporate environment i was in previously, is totally the best thing i have ever done. It feels very strange not to have to report every single thing i am doing. Life is so much better, happier and fun.

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Fabulous Weekend

Have had an absolutely brilliant weekend, partly spent with Gary, and my girlies Nova and Tracy, watching Commonwealth games, eating and drinking, exercising, the sun has shone, its been raining too, but hey who cares. It was fab. Busy week ahead, but its brilliant working for a new company, Im on my fourth week with Phoenix Cargo already.

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Mrs Positivity

Another 30 mins of sorting this morning, this time i made a start on my wardrobe, trying on, being honest if items fitted well, condition, if i still liked them. Big pile went into the car boot / recycling box. It feels so good...... I know its only small steps and I have a long way to go, at least I am making those small steps.

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Today...

Ive spent 30 mins or so this morning tidying out all my running and exercise kit, its surprising how much there was. Another job ticked of my non existent list. I saw a quotation on facebook this morning which said... There are 1140 minutes in a day, can you not spare 30 mins for a run....i used those 30 mins for a spot of tidying, but will manage a run later....

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Happy Photos

A very young Elaine, short dark hair on the right...lol

Nova, me and Tracy, on The Hoe in the rain on Armed Forces Day.

Nova and me at Paignton....

Gary and I at Paul & Sarahs wedding.

All of these photos remind me of happy days.

 

 

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New Blog, New Attitudes

Good Morning Bloggers

I am making a fresh start, new job, new outlook and attitude to life.

Firstly I have started a new job, working for Phoenix Cargo Services, as the Manager at their new Plymouth facility. Its a very exciting challenge, but one I am really looking forward. Debbie has come along with me, so its the old team in a new job.

I am much more positive and am feeling a lot happier than I have done in months or even several years.

This picture was taken from the sunroof in my car, me, alone sat on the Torpoint Ferry, which is a big positive step for me, as I was terrified of doing this before I had some help from thr NLP trainers. I took a ferry to and fro Cornwall one lunchtime.

My trainer has lent me a book called 'The Secret' which is a very interesting book about positive thinking, I have also been a delegate for him on several of his NLP training courses, again very interesting sessions where I have learnt a lot about myself, and what my values and beliefs are. This has all changed my mental attitude for the better.

I am taking a real hard look at my life and what I want to do, not what I feel that I have to do. I was really procrastinating and need to make a positive improvement, so that means no more lists (as I never get to do anything on them), instead I am trying to use my time wisely, an odd half an hour can mean I can tidy out a drawer rather than looking on facebook. This doesnt mean I will become boring and only be doing work, as I want to spend some more quality time with Gary, family and friends, but I also recognise the need to get the mundane housework done as well.

Now onto this blog, I have decided not to make this too difficult, it to should be enjoyable and not a chore, so some news, odd pictures and stuff as well.

Live, Love and be happy

Elaine xx

 

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